Pepper in the Eyeball… no bueno

Soooo… there was this girl I knew (not me) who was making tacos for her sister and her (not me) for lunch. And… (not me) she cut up tomatoes, avocado, lime, cheese, and peppers. Hot peppers. Really, really, like really hot peppers. And the tacos were delicious. And then her eye started to itch. So, like a normal person she scratched it (not me). And then the fire came. Like 5-alarm, call the men w the truck and the ladder, somebody please put me out my her misery, if I’m going to go blind just get it over with already, fire. And to make matters worse, my her sister was doubled over in uncontrollable laughter even though the only reason I was there (yea, charade is up) was to take care of her in the first place. Family…

So as I’m at the kitchen table dying a slow, burning death and wondering how long it will take me to learn braille, it occurs to me that with my one good eye I should probably Google what to do if a slither of Serrano pepper single handily decommissions your entire life afternoon. My still-laughing sister was still of no help…

Milk. The white nectar of a grazing cow to the rescue. Thankfully my sister had some in her fridge. A shot glass full (thankfully she had those, too) and I dunked my eye like an Oreo cookie. Felt pretty weird blinking milk into my eye, but oh the relief! Almost instantaneous. Apparently it neutralizes the Capsaicin in the peppers that was causing the firestorm in my eyeball. Who knew?!

So anyway, the moral of the story boys and girls? Never use Serrano peppers. Never. They are the devil and were created to hurt you. But, if you must use them and you happen to somehow ever so innocently touch your eye… remember the milk. It may just save your life sight.

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